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Trick-or-Treating, TPGA-Style

Our community: All trick-or-treaters welcome, everyone who wants to participate, does. It’s Halloween! Are you or your family going trick-or-treating? Some of our families have it down to a successful science, and follow the advice from our perennial TPGA Halloween  post: Do you think your child will enjoy trick-or-treating, but are worried it may not be appropriate for them? If they tire easily, or have easily-triggered and unpredictable meltdowns, then plan a limited route close to home, or have another adult trail your crew in a getaway car. If your child has limited mobility or is in a wheelchair, scope out your trick-or-treat route ahead of time so you can note non-accessible houses and avoid them. Please let us know your own Halloween tips, tricks, and successes. We hope your Halloween is a good one. —- We’ve kept this short, because our thoughts are with those of you who are…

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Conversations Between Autistic Self-Advocates and Autism Parents – Part 2

Self-Advocate Elizabeth (Ibby) Grace’s blog Tiny Grace Notes is subtitled “Ask an Autistic,” and that is exactly what people do — solicit Autistic insights from her. We asked if we could republish a recent conversation Ibby had with Tina, an autism parent — to show that these conversations do happen, that they can be fruitful, and in the hopes that more such exchanges will happen. This is part 2 of 2. We recommend reading Part 1 first, for context. —- Tina writes: I’ll try to answer your questions. I’m glad you asked all these questions. I dont know how many I can answer but am trying to answer them. J likes pizza, it’s the only thing he’ll eat. He strips the cheese off, eats that first then licks the tomato sauce off then scrapes the soft doughy part with his teeth and leaves the outer crust and what’s left of…

Conversations Between Autistic Self-Advocates and Autism Parents – Part 1

Self-Advocate Elizabeth (Ibby) Grace’s blog Tiny Grace Notes is subtitled “Ask an Autistic,” and that is exactly what people do — solicit Autistic insights from her. We asked if we could republish a recent conversation Ibby had with Tina, an autism parent — to show that these conversations do happen, that they can be fruitful, and in the hopes that more such exchanges will happen. This is part 1 of 2. —- Tina: I have a question. I have a severely disabled son. He is nonverbal, is still in diapers, has self harming behaviors, hits himself in the face repeatedly and eats with his hands. I doubt he will ever progress to the point of living independently. I just can’t imagine that ever happening as he’s already 12 years old and only in the last year has he indicated that he understands what I mean when I ask him if…

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Understanding Autism Acceptance: A Parent’s Perspective

Shannon Des Roches Rosa  www.squidalicious.com Sometimes I think I like sameness more than my son does. That’s why a persistent hindrance to increased independence for autistic kids like my son Leo is parents like me overlooking opportunities for self-care and competence. Sometimes this happens because we find it quicker and easier to take care of breakfast preparation or our kids’ tooth brushing ourselves, sometimes because in our day-to-day rush we forget to check in and see if new skills have emerged. It takes effort and vigilance to give Leo the chances he needs to demonstrate competence. Like this past weekend, when Leo asked me for mango juice. I was about to pour it for him, but instead stepped back and asked if he wanted to pour it himself. Which he did! He even put the lid back on the carton (a twisting/screwing motion) with one hand while drinking his juice…

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The Last Place to Take Your Autistic Children

….if you want them to have high self-esteem or learn about autism. Karla Fisher Karla’s ASD Page This past week has been nothing short of amazing in the world of cognitive dissonance. At work, I was honored by being offered a key position in a critical program at one of the largest high tech companies in the world. I had worn my favorite black hoodie to my job interview. On the day I received my official offer letter, I received handshakes, congratulations, and assurance from my boss and other leaders that this is a great honor and opportunity. I rest knowing that I am amongst the top in the world at the work that I do, and brace to continue towards being even better. I am proud of this work that makes such a contribution to the world at large. This is a world where I am accepted and valued,…

Autism and Self-Injurious Behaviors

Bridget Allen ItsBridgetsWord.wordpress.com Self Injurious Behaviors. The magic trump card to stop down any conversation about autism. Three words loaded with emotion for anyone who loves an autistic. You want to protect the ones you love. In this case, the one you love and want to protect is also the very same person who is hurting the one you love and want to protect. It’s heartbreaking and confusing. I get that. I promise. Self injurious behaviors (SIBs) are often cited by those who view autism as a tragedy. Their child’s autism causes him to engage in SIBs, and they would do anything to make the autism that causes their child to hurt himself for no apparent reason to go away. Personally, I have been told I am “so high functioning” I cannot possibly understand, but I do understand because I am an autistic who engages in self injurious behaviors. I’m…

Understanding Autism Acceptance

Amy Sequenzia Accepting an autistic child does not mean ignoring the challenges that may be part of autism. A parent does not need to pretend that it is not hard to deal with those challenges to be accepting. Accepting autism and an autistic child is about stop mourning a child that does not exist and find the awesomeness on the autistic child in front of you. First, please read Jim Sinclair’s essay Don’t Mourn For Us. Second, I am not saying that some parents don’t love their children. What I am saying is that acceptance is about the child, or autistic adult, and their self-image. Parents cannot say they accept their autistic children if they demonize autism. I remember how it felt when my mother blamed autism for the way I did things. I felt like I was not as good as the other kids, I felt people did not…

‘Head-Banging’ Is About as Funny as ‘Retard’

Kristina Chew autism.typepad.com Kristina blogs about parenting her teenage son Charlie at the URL above. This post was one of Kristina’s recent daily dispatches. We just got through one of those begins-with-whacking-the-corner-of-the-iPad on the bedroom wall storms, though several degrees less bad than the one Charlie had the night before he went back to school, almost exactly a month ago. He called and called for his iPad after things were over but (powdery with plaster dust from the wall), the iPad remains on the brown chair: As we told Charlie, he needs to sleep first then he can have it. It is past 2am and I want to take one fast glance at some things pertaining to Herodotus but I just wanted to say something I’ve had on my mind for years: I really get all-out annoyed when people make references to head-banging and head-bangers and head-smack-on-desk and that sort…

How To Address Parental Fears About Autism

Brenda Rothman mamabegood.blogspot.com Parents of autistic children are exposed to fears about their children way too early and too often. We hear fears about cognitive ability, fitting in, relationships, bullying, adulthood, job opportunities, independence, financial support, catching up. What we read on the internet scares us. What we read in the paper scares us. What service providers, teachers, and well-meaning people tell us scares us. Sometimes we get stuck in fear and we can’t find a way out. Our brains are wired to produce more connections to the areas we use more. So the more time we spend stuck in fear around our children and their futures, the more connections we build, the stronger those areas become. We build more neural roads between our synapses of autism and fear. We get stuck on those roads. Autistic children and adults have valid and genuine challenges. And parents need to address those. …

TPGA’s Position on Autism Organizations That Support Autistic People

Our editorial team frequently discusses our expectations for autism organizations, both internally and during outreach efforts. We thought it time to formalize those expectations here on our site, as a resource for like-minded individuals. -The Editors At Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, we believe organizations that support autistic people must adhere to the following five principles: Support, not cure: autism is a naturally occurring human neurological variation and not a disease process to be cured. Medical or health issues that may accompany autism should be addressed independently. Evidence-based medical and clinical interventions: from our inception, we have advocated for helping autistic individuals in ways that are based on peer-reviewed empirical studies and which have been deemed effective by the wider scientific and academic communities. Inclusiveness: Autistic people must have significant, meaningful, and primary roles in all aspects of the organization, especially at board and executive levels with regards to planning…