Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Purple Sucker

Dawn Comer

What happened next?
Mommy, what happened next?

she begs, wanting
for story,
an end. But
I have no
know no

Morning but my daughter’s eyes
flit, seeking shadows
in sunlight.

Mommy, what happened next?

Morning and my eyes
stare, settling
into love-heart
pillow, bright pink
against dull blue
carpet.  Cast off
casualty of nighttime.

And then I understand.

Lucy, did you dream? Did you see
 a story in your sleep?

Baby crying, Lucy says.
Baby crying in daddy’s office.
Purple sucker in daddy’s office.

And then,
Elliot angry.
Baby crying.

And me not needing
to hear Lucy
but still she says her name
as if it is not even

Lucy baby crying in daddy’s office. Elliot angry. Lucy baby have purple sucker.
Mommy, what happened

Her first shared dream an ache in my gut.

I have no
words, no
end, no
power, no
to make it all
 turn out

Only an ache from feeling
from the inside
for the first time
my daughter’s soul.

Oh, Sweetie.
And I pull close
the slender strong
body of this child
who never flinches
during meltdowns, waits
patiently as parents “deal with”
a brother whose difference is
only what she has always
Is only who he is.

Oh, Sweetie.
And I wish Hello Kitty flannel
comfort could go
deeper than skin

Oh, Sweetie, I don’t know.
I couldn’t see your story.

Older sister to her older brother,
3T pajamas hiding the age
of her soul.

Morning light stays.
The scary goes.

Baby have a purple sucker.
Lucy baby have purple sucker in daddy’s office.
Elliot have purple sucker too!